Chelsea's Thoughts..

I have been rather taken aback lately by the number of people who are unwilling to help others, or in fact just simply be pleasant people.

There are countless people in the world who feed off their own viciousness and take comfort in knowing that they are ruining other people’s lives. People with this mind-set are all around us, inevitably at every twist and turn of our journey waiting to demolish our hopes and dreams and crush our positivity. The best way to deal with these people is to get them out of your life as quickly and easily as possible. Forget the drama, forget confrontation, forget arguments, and just get them out. Have the courage and strength in yourself to succeed, and be confident that you deserve the best in your life.

Alongside those who are being intentionally cruel, there are those who are just so lost in their troubles that they forget how to be happy. Having to deal with severe issues can take the place of important things in life; family, friends, love, good food, and nature. Putting a smile on your face and offering words of kindness and support can be all that is needed to brighten someone’s day, and in turn brighten your own. A smile is a gesture that is internationally recognised, has no barriers and that everyone understands. Helping others and being selfless guarantees you a happy, long and fulfilled life.

Giving aid to others can be the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Count the hours you sit around at home doing nothing, count the dollars you spend on chocolate and other unimportant things, count the fingers and toes on your hands and feet. Speak, you have a voice. All of these things that you are blessed with in your life may not be available to everyone. Use those hours to help out at a retirement village; the time you spend with the elderly can be the most precious moments in their empty lives. Donate that spare change sitting in your wallet to a deserving charity, and use your hands and feet to help with picking up litter, handing out flyers, or fundraising.  Use your voice to preach the values and messages of aid organisations around the world. Do what you love. Love what you do. Learn to love helping others. Be happy with yourself and the world around you, and endless good fortune will flood into your life.

Friends, faith and love are the only things that will keep you sane during this terrible, unpredictable and crazy rollercoaster named “life”.

Bad things will happen, death is inevitable, and weight will be gained. Sadness, happiness, anger and regret will course through your veins; sometimes separately, but often all at once. However, the thing to always remember is that you should never feel like you are suffering in silence. There will always be someone out there who will listen to your troubles, always. No burden is ever too small to share with a friend, and all are too heavy to carry alone. When you find someone you feel comfortable talking to, clutch them tightly with both hands and never let them go! Tell them everything, pour out your soul, learn to trust. They will be the ones who help you through your terrible times.

Remember this: Things get better! Things get better. THINGS GET BETTER! If you’re a teenager reading this, hold on to your britches. The years of teenagehood can be the most emotionally tumultuous and difficult time of your life. Walking around with what feels like weight of the world on your shoulders can be overwhelming at times, I understand. But if you sit back, lean on a friend and take a moment for yourself, perspective can be gained. If something isn’t going to matter in a year’s time, forget it. If something’s making you unhappy, fix it. If someone’s treating you badly, eradicate them from your life. Because it’s your life. All yours.

There’s only one person you have to live with indefinitely. It’s not your parents, not your siblings, not your partner. It’s yourself. You can either continue being your own worst enemy or learn to become your own best friend. Because when it all boils down to it, you’re the one left with the consequences at the end of the day. Live for yourself and make yourself happy, but make every attempt to help others while you’re doing so.

Tell your problems to someone. If you’re reading this and suffering, tell me about it. You may not know me, but a problem shared is a problem halved, and I will always be here to listen.

Chelsea (: x

31,536,000 seconds. 525,600 minutes. 8,760 hours. 365 days. 52 weeks. 1 year. This is how long it has been since I began my journey into the blog-sphere, and I feel like a completely new person!

2010 has been one of the most amazing and inspirational years of my life. I have met some wonderful people, created extraordinary friendships, and have awoken to the true beauties of the world. I have developed into a mature, positive, happy and creative young woman with a passion for life once more. On the odd occasion that I found myself slipping into the dusty corners of life, words have been my solace. Writing my frustrations and fears has helped me to gain a rational view on my problems and has been a great comfort. Happy people can be sad too, believe me, but words have an amazing ability to change a life.

I am very humbled and grateful that my blog has acquired 3,500 views. Never in my wildest dreams could I have ever imagined to reach this volume of people worldwide! I have had comments from close friends, family friends, extended family and complete strangers and this fills my heart with joy. My goal in life is to inspire people, and to have people tell me I am doing this already at such a young age is incredible. My words come from the heart, are written with love, and are made to inspire.

I hope that you have enjoyed the past year with me and I have helped you gain a new perspective on life. If I have made an impact, please let me know. The support and love of my readers is the only thing that keeps me writing, so keep it up! I hope to see you all in the new year. Thank you thank you thank you.

Endless love, Chelsea (: x

I’m not going to lie, life is hard. Sometimes your entire life seems to be just one big struggle, and maybe you can’t see the reason for your being. Bad things happen; murder, theft, cancer, death, injury, pain and illness are all very real things that nearly every person will be forced to experience at some point in time. The best thing to hear in times of pain is that things always get better. They may need to get worse before they do, but they definitely will. Of course murder, cancer and death cannot be reversed, but I am positive that good things will come into your life to balance out and subdue the pain they cause. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and all experiences in your life occur in order to make you a better person.

Death of a loved one is one of the hardest things you will ever experience. There are no words that can ease the pain you feel, but take comfort in the fact that their soul is still with you, in your heart, each and every day. I’m going to tell you something that I hope will give you a different view on death. My nana passed away a few months ago and my mother was contemplating whether or not to go and see her body, she was very uncertain and needed guidance. I sat down next to her, put my arm around her, and hugged her. “Mum,” I said. “Why? Why do you want to see her?” She fell silent. “The thing in that room is not your mother. A body is simply an instrument that a soul uses to walk the earth. Her body is gone, but she’s not there. She’s in your heart mum, always.” She didn’t go to see her.

Your time on Earth is simply one big lesson designed to test your faith and love and give you the opportunity to change someone else’s life. Why be sad? Why be mean? Why not do the things you love? You have one life, and one life only. Being mean to someone might seem like the easiest thing to do at the time, and that’s fine if you want to look back at yourself and hate the things you’ve done. But if you want to love yourself and love the way you treat people, then you need to make every effort to be nice to others. A simple moment out of your day can change someone else’s - buy dinner for a homeless person, they might not have eaten for days. Tell someone they look nice. Do the washing for your mother. Share your lunch with a hungry friend who has forgotten theirs. These simple acts of kindness can have a serious impact on someone else.

Live your life in a kind, honest, respectful way and you will be sure to love yourself and everything around you. It is a certainty that things will get hard, you will cry, and you will hate life. But look outside at your beautiful surroundings, think about your bright future, and the fantastic family and friends that you have been blessed with to support you along your journey, and I know you’ll feel better. Find inner peace and the world will turn in your favour.

Chelsea (: x

Eat lots and lots of beautiful food. If you really want it, eat it. Go for long, purposeless walks both alone and with people you love. Walking is good for the body and the soul. Laugh at everything and frown at nothing. Know when to put others before yourself. Watch as many good movies as you can. Sing as loud as you want. Go out and learn new things about the world. Make friends. Love wholeheartedly. Try hard at school. Take care of your body, especially your eyes and your teeth, you will need them when you’re older. Trust others without hesitance or you will never learn to love. If you really want something, work hard in order to achieve it. Be nice to your siblings. Respect your elders. Do one thing every day that scares you. Live with no regrets. Break the rules. Smile at least twice a day, more if you can. Donate to charities when you are able to. Do something you love every day. Tell those close to you that you love them all the time, you may never have another chance. Appreciate and love the beauty of your youth. Compliment people often, and accept compliments graciously. Buy things on impulse, and push away the guilt later. Learn something new every day. If you can afford it, travel a lot. Write meaningful messages in birthday cards. Get rid of toxic people from your life. Live in an apartment, live in a house, live with your friends, live with your partner, live alone. Find a job you love, but never let your life be ruled by it. Don’t judge people on first impressions, they are deeper than that. Don’t be too hard on your parents when you are young, you will understand them one day. Give everyone a chance. Believe in something, that faith will guide you through. Volunteer at a charity. Start a family and love your children with your entire being. Don’t be upset for long when things don’t go your way. Learn from your mistakes. Put your heart and soul into everything you do. Listen to the stories of others and learn all you can from them. Be kinder than necessary. Write a list of things you want to do before you die and ensure they are done. Set goals and stick to them. Be grateful for what you do have and never complain about what you don’t. Remind yourself every day how lucky you are. Finish what you start. Drink endless cups of tea. Surround yourself with beautiful friends and forgive readily. And the most important piece of advice I have, is simply…

Stay true to your morals and beliefs, and live your life for no-one other than yourself. Sometimes it seems like you only exist to try and please everyone else, but remember this is your life. You have the right to live it the way you want to…. But please, please make it worthwhile.

I would describe myself as being very similar to a poem.

Upon first reading, a poem probably seems pretty standard. A few rhymes here and there, some alliteration, and maybe some sibilance thrown in if you’re getting a bit sophisticated. Just like me. Upon first glance I seem to be pretty average and normal, albeit being a bit taller and chubbier than most 17 year old girls.

When you read the poem again, you are drawn slightly deeper. New ideas, meanings and interpretations about the piece arise upon a second reading. Just like me. When you come up and meet me, you experience my personality and the kind of person I am (well, the kind of person I try to be). Warm, friendly, kind and pretty loud to be honest.

When you separate the poem into stanzas, even more meaning is developed and even more messages are revealed within the text. Just like me. The second time we meet, you might notice a new aspect of my personality that you didn’t see before. You may learn more about me and what I like to do, the way I think and maybe even about my family.

It will definitely take a few meetings to understand my true personality. Just like reading a poem.. sometimes you can read it a thousand times before realising its true meaning.

Just like a poem I am interesting to begin with, difficult and confusing at the core, but once you take the time to understand meeverything will become clear.

It has only been in recent weeks that I have truly realised how much we depend on others in our everyday lives. Most of us pride ourselves on being self-sufficient, but the truth is that we rely on others in every aspect of life. Every single thing we do is based around others, whether it is choosing what to wear for the day, buying something for lunch or simply walking down the street. Humans are quick  to judge and the constant fear of being viewed in a negative light coaxes us into spending most of our time trying to impress others through the way we look, act and speak. We rely on others to teach us valuable life lessons, whether we learn from observing their mistakes or they preach their words of wisdom to us.

When we are sad, we rely on other people to make us happy and upbeat. When we are happy, we need other people to see and recognise our happiness in order to validate it. We require other people to judge our looks and tell us whether we are ugly, pretty, skinny, fat, tall or short. This reliance on other people is important in life as we move forward and learn to love, but it also falls back on us as we rely less on our own thoughts and more on the thoughts and judgments of others. Depression can be brought on by the feelings of uselessness and inadequacy that are triggered by other people and their successes. It sounds pathetic and selfish, but when you think about it, how can you feel inadequate if you have nothing or no one to live up to?

The majority of people spend their entire life searching for “the one”; their partner, the person that was made for them, their soul mate. One of the main accomplishments in an adults’ life is getting married, which reiterates the importance of finding another person to make yourself complete. One of the first things one is asked as a teenage girl is “Do you have a boyfriend?” This constant questioning about a teenager’s reliance on another person can make someone who is not with a partner feel mediocre and outside the social norm. However, the teen years are the most important times for finding ones own identity and place in the world, and is one of the key times to find out the truths about the world. It is a time to learn that not everyone is going to be trustworthy and caring, people will hurt you and let you down, but that it’s just about learning who are the ones you should care about. The only people worth bothering about in your life are the ones that would bother about you, and the ones you truly care about. Your life is too short to be wasted on people who would not waste theirs on you.

Sometimes it can take something dramatic to realise how important other people and relationships are in your life, such as death or illness in a loved one, or illness in yourself that requires help from someone else. Luckily I realised one evening driving home from a wonderful day with a best friend who makes me endlessly happy. The sun was setting in the corner of my eyes and the wide open road stretching for miles before me symbolised the years of happy relationships and friendships that are set to enter my life in the near and distant future. I can’t wait.

Chelsea (: x

Just for the record, I have never really been the spiritual type. If ever I see a ghost, I’m sure my mind will be changed, but for now I’m a bit skeptical about the whole thing.

Today while driving past the largest cemetery in Auckland I was overwhelmed by an urge to go inside. I only know one person who was laid to rest there, and that is my dad’s former best friend, Ron Groves. I had only been to see his grave a handful of times and hadn’t been since I was twelve years old, but somehow I drove to the exact entrance and my feet led me straight to him. I sat down next to him and began chatting away, telling him all about my life and family. The wind whipped around my ears and a few tears trickled down my face, but I caught them and smiled.

I wondered if he knew I was there with him. I cleared the moss from the top of his headstone and whispered halfheartedly, “Tell me you know I’m here. Make it rain.” I sat speechless for many minutes and then rose to my feet, slightly disappointed. After I touched my hand to the top of the headstone with one hand and blew a kiss with the other, I turned to walk away. A drop of water hit my face. Then another, and another. It was a short shower, lasting until the moment I reached my car, but it was enough.

Chelsea (: x

Here we go again with another early morning post…

I have just realised how much I love my job. I work part-time at a jewellery store that sells designer brands, but it is not the things we sell that I am drawn to most, it is the fabulous and interesting people that I meet every day. Everybody has a story to tell about themselves (whether it’s interesting or not!) and these stories have given me a wealth of knowledge. Not facts, anyone can learn facts, but knowledge. Wisdom about the world and its inhabitants, about maturity and about being compassionate and empathetic. During the one year I have spent working in retail I have developed confidence, maturity and poise but most of all I have learned to be compassionate and understanding.

As I have said many times before, I try and live my life by the quote “Be nicer than necessary, because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.” Although many people talk to you with a smile on their faces, that smile often masks a deep sadness or struggle. Each person who walks into your life is having to deal with something, and a smile could be all they need to take their mind off it.

So next time someone really grumpy ignores your greeting, smile and give them a compliment. They may think you are being insincere by greeting them, especially if you work in a shop, but if you give them a genuine, honest compliment it is sure to brighten their day.

Chelsea (: x

My nana recently passed away at the age of 67 after suffering from dementia for over seven years. I miss her indescribably, and I thought it would be nice to share the speech I presented at her funeral. You may recognise it from an earlier post I wrote, “Steady feet, don’t fail me now”, but it is slightly different – “adapted” for nana if you wish.

Quite recently my best friend and I decided to go for a swim at the beach in torrential winter rainfall. As I stood in the unrelenting ocean, waves crashing around my pale white legs, the pouring rain mixed with tears on my cheeks settling in the corners of my lips for just a moment… before rushing down my neck and back into the water again. Raising my head to the sky and stretching my arms out beside me to touch the surface of the salty water, my head spun and I gasped a breath of cold air inwards. My mind was bombarded with thoughts of love, life, passion, redemption and pain. These thoughts are daunting enough when alone, but when placed together they create a merciless combination that seems almost too profound to bear. In the midst of all these thoughts, Nan crossed my mind.

I thought of her, all alone and in pain, and wished I could be with her, holding her hand as she suffered. My heart broke as I remembered everything that she had seemingly forgotten; the day I took my first teetering steps, my first day at school and her and mum crying with laughter. All these memories, so precious and happy, became lost in deep pools of concern, worry and illness. As Nan slowly slipped away from us, new memories were created; my first day at high school, my first school ball and my brother moving out of home. As memories left her mind, they came flooding inescapably and incessantly into our lives.

When a hearty laugh from my friend pulled me back to reality, I smiled. Not a fake smile, one you give to a friend when they ask if you’re okay when you’re not, but a realsmile. One that comes from the heart, and touches the eyes. Many times I have questioned why we are here on Earth. What’s the reason? What’s our purpose? But at that very moment, standing in the freezing cold water with the wind sweeping my long hair in all directions, I realised something. I realised that life is simple; we don’t always need reasons and explanations. We just need to embrace what we have, not question it and make the most of life. Some people are simply placed on this earth to make others happy; to enhance other people’s lives and make them smile during their darkest days. Some live longer than others and some endure more pain than others, but pain and suffering occurs only because without it we would be empty of compassion, love and understanding. Without these tests and trials we would be unable to move forward within ourselves, and this is one of these tests. But just remember, Nana’s still with us. Her body is gone but that’s just a shell. An instrument that her soul used to walk the Earth, she is still here in our hearts. And she wouldn’t want any of us to suffer, so smile, a real smile, and make it touch your eyes.